Dating with Herpes

Dating With Herpes

Meet People With Herpes

Dating with Herpes

Dating someone without Herpes

It is always best to tell any potential partner about herpes before you have become intimate. Give them time to research herpes and become better informed before deciding whether or not to be intimate with you. Even if you are only interested in a casual relationship, your partner deserves to know the facts before making the decision to become intimate with you. Consider this, if you are not comfortable talking to your potential partner about herpes, you may not be ready to have 'the talk.'

If you have decided to talk about herpes, try not to get emotional, this might arouse undue panic. If you get upset telling someone you have H, they will be more concerned about running the other way. State the facts - it's a very common virus that 1 out of 5 people have. Symptoms are infrequent or mild or mistaken for something else - so much so that up to 90% of the people who have it, don't even know it.

Explain to him/her that there are many types of herpes, and that one of the most common is HSV1 - which is usually the cause of "cold sores" around the mouth. Up to 80% of the US population already has HSV1. HSV1 can also be spread to the genitals during oral sex. "Shingles" are caused by yet another strain of herpes - herpes zoster - same virus that causes Chicken Pox. Genital Herpes (HSV2) is just a different strain of this same common virus.

HSV2 is very common but people who have it have not been diagnosed, it is possible that your potential partner might already have the virus and not know it. And even if they don't have it, odds are that 1 in every 5 of his/her previous sexual partners had herpes, they may have it and not even know it. Suggesting that they get tested before you are intimate may be a good idea.

There are many couples in which one partner has HSV2 and the other partner does not and they can enjoy a healthy sex life without transmitting the virus.

Always use a condom but keep in mind that the condom will only protect the part of the penis and areas of contact that are covered.

Herpes is spread by direct skin to skin contact. Unlike a flu virus that you can get through the air, herpes spreads by direct contact, that is, directly from the site of infection to the site of contact. For example, if you have a cold sore and kiss someone, you can transfer the virus to their mouth. Similarly, if you have active genital herpes and have vaginal or anal intercourse, you can give your partner genital herpes. Finally, if you have a cold sore and put your mouth on your partners genitals (oral sex), you can give your partner genital herpes.

Herpes is most easily spread when a sore is present, but, it is also often spread at other times too. Some people notice itching, tingling or other sensations before they see anything on their skin. These are called "Prodromal Symptoms" and they warn that virus may be present on the skin. Herpes is most likely to be spread from the time these first symptoms are noticed until the area is completely healed and the skin looks normal again.

Can Herpes Be Transmitted Without Symptoms?

Yes! Sometimes those who know they are infected spread the virus between outbreaks, when no signs or symptoms are present. This is called "Asymptomatic Transmission."
Research also shows that herpes simplex infections are often spread by people who don't know they are infected. These people may have symptoms so mild they don't notice them at all or else don't recognize them as herpes.

Many genital herpes infections are spread from persons who are asymptomatic "Shedders" of the virus.

For those who recognize their symptoms, asymptomatic transmission appears to be far less likely than spreading the virus when lesions are present. Many couples have had sexual relations for years without transmitting herpes. Some simply avoid having sexual contact when signs or symptoms are present. Others use condoms or other protection between outbreaks to help protect against asymptomatic shedding.

Are complications possible?

One kind of complication involves spreading the virus from the location of an outbreak to other places on the body by touching the sore(s). The fingers, eyes, and other body areas can accidentally become infected in this way. Preventing self-infection is simple. Do not touch the area during an outbreak. If you do, wash your hands as soon as possible. The herpes virus is easily killed with soap and water.

Remember, H does not define who you are! You deserve to be loved and to be happy! If you find that you are being rejected in the non-H community, date only H people.